visualeyez 2008/i dreamt i ran away from home (15)
July 20, 2008
day 7 today i walked on the south side of jasper avenue. visible signs of homelessness were less apparent. this is what is unfolding so far: the title of the work, “i dreamt i ran away from home” refers to the thought that if you live in canada and you are not of first nation descent chances are your ancestors came here to escape “something.” to a certain extent i think of canadians as run-aways in search of a home. for this project i am writing using the dream “form” that are not dreams in the night-time sense or in the wishing for sense, they are dreams in the way memory and dreams become spoken narratives of something that can not be verified through the sense of touch, taste, sight, or smell. i am speaking to the cree people, to the ancestors of the cree nation, who are no longer here. i am speaking from my subjective perspective (i as karen elaine spencer) as well as from my collective role as the colonizer, i am speaking of my actions, my understanding of what took place that created this context of this land now called canada. i am hoping to make a space where the weight of things can be felt and lived with for awhile without the wall of defense or self-righteousness being raised. i am incredibly saddened that in making a home for ourselves we destroyed the home of others. and by home i mean all the romantic stuff that home refers to: a space of belongingness, safety, and pride. a place that is always yours that you can return to.