visualeyez 2008/i dreamt i ran away from home (16)
July 21, 2008
when i was writing this dream as an “author” i had the strange sensation of also inhabiting the dream. i mean i felt a surge of anguish, as if it was i, the mother, who was being physically cut from my child. to visualize my child’s hair held in a stranger’s hands, to visualize scissors swiping through my child’s hair, and then to watch the hair fall to the floor, felt to me, like a violent act of severance, that suddenly my child was cut from me and initiated into this other world i had no control over. at the same time as these emotions were going through me, i also felt responsible for the cutting of the hair and i felt ashamed of what i had done. and…i also wanted, at that moment, to cause “the school” to feel something.
writing the dream on the sidewalk in publiic at this location seemed to collapse the distance between me and my words. i felt the words were much closer to me, that i embodied the words. i have had this experience, to a greater or lesser degree, every time i write the dream with chalk on the sidewalk.