never happened (lets pretend it): an ongoing performative gesture in the fofa gallery window

September 16, 2009

neverhappenedorange

squished oranges and orange peels on canvas tarp in gallery window.

today was the third day of performing my “ongoing performative gesture.” today was not a day of tenderness and i felt disconnected from my actions.

rather than:

sit on the stool and slowly take the orange into my hands and pierce the skin and insert my thumb and squish the juice out of the orange and tear the orange apart and let the orange pieces drop to the ground and hold my hands out in front of me and let the juice drip off and then dry my hands in front of the fan to then bend down and pick another orange to pierce the skin,

i fumbled around and squished some oranges quickly and tried to reconnect with the gestures, but then i went down onto the floor and took the light in my hands and began directing the light at the orange pieces on the floor and inspecting the dried flesh and skin and then i started to give each piece of orange its place and thought about violence and how it can start out as tenderness and how tenderness can shift to violence and the fan blew air over my body and the light was warm on my hands and it became o.k. to do this quiet arranging of orange pieces rather than doing what i had thought i should be doing.

no-one hears the sounds of oranges squishing and juice dripping other than me.

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