like writing with water

photo by: david khang

i dreamt i filled your mouth with stones

i dreamt i wrapped you in my skin

i dreamt you trusted me

nikî pawâten etâpwewakeyimiyin

nikî pawâten ekîwewekinitân pihcayihk nasakâhk

i dreamt i owned everything

nikî pawâten ekîtipêyihtamân kahkiyaw kîkway

i dreamt i locked you inside a shrinking house

i dreamt i cut your children’s hair

nîki pawâten nisâkaskinahtân kitpon asinkyak

i dreamt things fall apart

i dreamt i imposed my law and found you guilty

nikî pawâten kikwaya enanâniscipayihki

nikî pawâten ekîhitasiwâtakok niwiyasiwewina ekwa kîhatâneyimikawimâwâw

i dreamt i held your face away from the sun

i dreamt i scratched out, scraped out, a space for the frail, a space for the frail

i dreamt i awoke and heard your voice

day 13

today is the last day of my “street” work. tomorrow i will do a small performance in the gallery space. i hope there, in the gallery surrounded by people i have come to know, that i can lay down and let go of all the sorrow this work has engendered.

day 13

“niki pawaten emicimitan kihkwakan ochih pisim” is cree for: “i dreamt i held your face away from the sun.”

day 12

being here, in edmonton, at visualeyez, away from home, to be going home in three days. everything i have done here will be a memory, a trace of something that is no more, that is no longer visible, that i will have left behind. it’s always hard to reckon with how seemingly insignificant, how fleeting this practice of mine is. this place, this manner, where i choose to invest my life is so small. but inside myself i believe it is the small, the subtle, where we touch each other. and how can you measure that, how can you ever know what you have done?

day 12

traces of a chalk dream.

day 11

the chalk dream says, “i dreamt i imposed my law and found you guilty.”

i met with shawna dempsey this morning and we talked a bit about my work. shawna asked me how i felt about the work. i said, “good question.”

day 11

day 11

at this spot two men were handcuffed and taken away. there were two police cars, four policemen and two men who had been sleeping on the grass and two bags. there seemed to be no conflict, the men were quiet, the police went through their bags, took out some books. handcuffed one man, then the other. i walked by.

day 10

“niki pawaten kikaya enananiscipayihki” is cree for: i dreamt things fall apart. this is a citation from Chinua Achebe’s book called, “things fall apart,” which is a very powerful novel telling of one man’s experience of living at the onset of colonialism.

day 10

the oranges. i have been tempted to just put the oranges around town in various locations that i want to mark, so today i did just that. i am allowing myself to play and break my own “rules.” and so this is the perfect moment to say what a great pleasure it is to feel supported and understood by the visualeyez festival director todd janes. that freedom to shift, change, redirect, and yes, fail, is part and parcel of the creative process.  it is a real gift to feel this allowing, and this certainly isn’t something that every director feels comfortable with, so  i wanted to honour this and say thank you.